I LIKE TO sit out on my patio in the morning, my Buddha water feature gurgling softly, the birds singing.
Another guy likes to sit on his balcony at the same time and talk on the phone. Loudly. Then, I suppose to celebrate a successful call, he sings. Loudly and totally off key.
I was in the gym the other day, headphones on and TV tuned in. A young woman gets on the tread next to me and promptly dials into a business call. I suppose because of the noise of the treadmill she feels she needs to shout into the phone. I turn up my sound. No good. After a half-hour I know some serious details about her business, ones someone probably should not know just from being on a treadmill next to her.
Folks work in our social area and same thing – loud business conversations about money, HR, deals. I wonder what I would have done, back in my CEO days, if one of my employees had blared confidential information out into such public spaces. I think it probably, at least after a warning, become cause for dismissal.
OK, an explanation. I always wondered why people shouted into cell phones then I learned that it’s because you can’t hear yourself, so you raise your voice. Old land line phones had amplifiers in them so you could hear your voice at the same level as the voice of the person you were talking to. Cell phones don’t have that so because you can’t hear yourself that loudly, you assume the person on the other end can’t hear you and they assume you can’t hear them, so everyone shouts. Look it up.
Phones.
A guy works out in our apartment gym with a personal trainer. Except the trainer isn’t there. They are on Zoom, WhatsApp, GoToMeeting, whatever. He sets up his circuit and grunts and groans and talks on speaker with his trainer.
I use my phone a lot. I don’t talk on it that often. I tend to text. But when I do talk on it the only time it’s on speaker is when I am in total privacy. It’s not just that I don’t want to broadcast my business, it’s more that I don’t want to intrude on others’ space. I’d say it’s out of respect but I am not sure that word has much meaning today.
I don’t even have my phone’s ringer on. I have an Apple Watch and if I get a call, my wrist vibrates. I can decide what I want to do and no one need know. Sure, I miss a call every now and then but I can live with that.
I suppose I am turning into a grumpy old man (my kids say I am well past the “turning into” phase) but I remember a time when public space was much more quiet. Not quiet as in no sounds, but quiet as in a hum, background noise. Memories of those times are fading.
The other night our apartment complex’s leading jerk set off fireworks again. He does this regularly, usually cherry bombs or strings. But, pushing 11 p.m. one night this week, our courtyard lit up with exploding glares and smoke filled the air. WTF?
I am swimming upstream against a raging current with this nostalgia. I know that and don’t expect anything to change. We have now become a society where privacy, quiet no longer are a part of our day-to-day behaviors. I suspect we aren’t going back.
Maybe I need to join in. Go out at on the patio at 7:30 a.m. and shout into my phone, play music and sing, off-key, at the top of my lungs. Except, I can’t. I couldn’t. So, I will just continue to grump about it.
Rich Heiland is a retired journalist and semi-retired consultant, trainer and public speaker. During his journalism career he was a reporter, editor, publisher, college instructor, part of a Pulitzer Prize-winning team and a National Newspaper Association Columnist of the Year honoree. He lives in West Chester, PA and can be reached at [email protected].