I have been contemplating exercise and come to the conclusion I don’t need as much as habit and ego tell me I do….
EXERCISE HAS BEEN on my mind lately.
I’ve worked out most of my life and my cardiologist said my heart, as I near 79-years-old, shows it. My joints, however, also show it and not in the good way my heart reflects the effort. Feet, knees, hips, back – all are in various states of disrepair and discomfort.
Some of that can be treated, some most likely cannot. For some time now I have been wavering between keeping up the effort and abandoning it entirely, realizing of course there is a middle ground.
I used to be a runner, at one period knocking off eight miles a few times a week. That led to my first hip replacement and the end of running. So, I moved indoors to treadmills, ellipticals, recumbent bikes and weights.
Last week I went back to my pre-knee and back workout. Seventy minutes on the elliptical, 65 minutes on the tread and upper body weights. Next day, same thing but with lower body weights. My joints screamed. They cursed. They retaliated.
So, for the past three or four days, I have done nothing physically except walk around and sit. My body has quieted down.
But that doesn’t solve the problem. Which is, at 79 what do I need to be doing? I went online and the consensus is that an 80-year-old man needs 150 minutes of mixed aerobics and resistance a week. In other words, one of my old workouts spread out from a day to a week. It hardly seems worth the bother.
Which has led me to consider life its ownself and what I think about. I have concluded I no longer care how long I live. I know. That’s one of those comments that, as you lay dying, you may regret but that is where I am. My wife is in a memory care unit. I am living alone. As I have sat with Buddha and thought about it, I have realized going to great lengths to extend life at this point is not for me.
BEFORE YOU SAY it, I am not surrendering. There is a difference between “surrender” and “acceptance.” I am “accepting.” My body is winding down. It still can do a lot, and I intend to be as active as I can for as long as I can.
But maybe it’s time to say good-bye to two-plus hours a day in the gym. I have decided on a new goal. Ninety-minutes a couple of days a week and 45-minutes to an hour the other days. Going to the zoo or Longwoods Garden can count toward that.
Today I am eating more wisely than ever, following the intermittent fasting program and fighting back the urge to eat out of boredom. I seldom drink compared to the good old days. All things considered, I don’t need to be in the gym two hours a day and I certainly don’t need the guilt that comes with each day I don’t do that.
Aaaahhh! I feel better all ready. Less guilt. Less stress. Just writing these words. Acceptance, not surrender. Letting inevitable changes, be what they may, happen in their own time and way.
And so it goes with a birthday looming….
Rich Heiland is a retired journalist and semi-retired consultant, trainer and public speaker. During his journalism career he was a reporter, editor, publisher, college instructor, part of a Pulitzer Prize-winning team and a National Newspaper Association Columnist of the Year honoree. He also writes the intodementia.com blog about his family’s experience with dementia. He lives in West Chester, PA and can be reached at [email protected].