I never have done well with “acceptance” but maybe I’m at a point where I have to try it, at least for a while….
ACCEPTANCE. Never done well with it.
But this morning I got up and showered and shaved. That’s not something I usually do now that I am mostly retired. Mornings were for the gym, taking a hike so the shower and shave came later.
This morning I decided to accept, at least for a while, the reality that my body has checked out when it comes to the things its done most of its life – hike, travel, run, lift weights and the like.
I saw the knee surgeon last week to ask about some pretty strong pain seven months out from a replacement. He said the knee was fine, structurally and said it could be transferring pain from the slipped, herniated L4 and L5 disks in the lower back. He said if it wasn’t then maybe it was time to freeze or heat-kill nerves around the knee.
So, went to my pain doc. The ablation (killing by heat) they had done on nerves in the back a few weeks ago didn’t work. Disappointing. So, she said she wants me to have an epidural injection, which I am doing this week.
She wants to see if that eases the knee pain. If it doesn’t, then we start a process to identify the culprit nerves, then deal with them. That will involve a few weeks. If the epidural in the back doesn’t work, then surgery could be looming.
Last week I decided to see just what I could take so walked down to the Y and did a pretty major (some may say “dumb”) workout on the tread, elliptical and weights and by the end of the day had 9,000 steps on the Apple Watch. The next morning I got up and had to go back on my cane and knee brace. Message from body – “I’m damn near 79 years old, I’m messed up and I can’t take your crap anymore.”
So, this morning I showered and shaved. No workouts. Oh, I can go back to the rehab exercise for the back and knee, and I will. But mainly I will be trying to adapt to a sedentary life, hoping it really is just for a few months.
Is that “acceptance?” I suppose so. But if it is, I don’t much like it. But I’m doing it. For now. I hope. So it goes…
Rich Heiland is a retired journalist and semi-retired consultant, trainer and public speaker. During his journalism career he was a reporter, editor, publisher, college instructor, part of a Pulitzer Prize-winning team and a National Newspaper Association Columnist of the Year honoree. He also writes the intodementia.com blog about his family’s experience with dementia. He lives in West Chester, PA and can be reached at [email protected].